Custody disputes can be emotionally draining and legally complicated. When you are fighting for time with your children, every decision you make matters. Understanding what not to do during this process can be just as important as knowing what steps to take.
Badmouthing the other parent in front of your children
One of the most damaging things you can do during a custody dispute is speak poorly about your co-parent when your children can hear you. Courts in New York prioritize the best interests of the child. Judges often look unfavorably upon parents who try to damage the relationship between their children and the other parent.
New York courts typically consider factors including your ability to provide a stable home environment, the quality of your relationship with your child, and your willingness to encourage and facilitate a relationship between the child and your co-parent.
When you criticize your ex-spouse in front of your kids, you may be engaging in what courts consider parental alienation. This behavior can suggest to a judge that you are not willing to foster a healthy relationship between your children and their other parent. New York courts tend to take parental alienation seriously and may change custody arrangements if you deliberately undermine your child’s relationship with their other parent.
Violating existing court orders or custody agreements
Even if you disagree with temporary custody arrangements or visitation schedules, violating court orders is never advisable. Some parents make the mistake of withholding visitation, arriving late for exchanges or ignoring specific provisions in their agreements because they feel justified in doing so.
However, courts take compliance with their orders very seriously. Under state law, willful violation of a custody or visitation order may result in contempt of court charges, which can lead to fines or even jail time.
When you violate a court order, you demonstrate to the judge that you may not follow future custody arrangements either. This can raise questions about your reliability and judgment as a parent. Additionally, repeated violations may cause the court to modify custody arrangements in favor of the compliant parent. If you believe an order is unfair or needs modification, the appropriate action is to file a formal request with the court rather than taking matters into your own hands.
Posting inappropriate content on social media
In today’s digital age, many people share details of their daily lives online without considering the consequences. During a custody dispute, your social media activity can become evidence in court. Photos, posts and comments that show poor judgment, excessive partying or neglectful behavior can all be used against you.
The other parent’s attorney may monitor your social media accounts, looking for anything that could question your fitness as a parent. Consider limiting your social media use during this time and being extremely mindful of what you share publicly.
Vigilance can protect your interests
Custody disputes require careful decisions and consistent actions. By avoiding these common mistakes, you can protect your relationship with your children and strengthen your position throughout the process. Focus on your children’s well-being, follow court requirements and demonstrate sound judgment in all aspects of your life to support your custody goals.
