The Law Offices of Robert W. Dapelo, Esq., PC FindLaw IM Template 2026-05-26T20:46:36Z https://www.robertdapelo.com/feed/atom/ WordPress /wp-content/uploads/sites/1100513/2019/12/cropped-favicon-32x32.jpg On Behalf of The Law Offices of Robert W. Dapelo, Esq., PC <![CDATA[Smartphones, children and divorce: 3 things to include when putting together a parenting plan]]> https://www.robertdapelo.com/?p=49947 2026-05-26T20:46:36Z 2026-05-26T20:46:36Z are now a routine part of childhood and can become a frequent source of conflict for any parent. There are additional hurdles around this issue parents must navigate when separated or divorced. A well drafted parenting plan can reduce misunderstandings by setting clear expectations about when a child will have a phone, how the child will use the phone to communicate and what digital boundaries apply in each household. Parents may find it helpful to focus on consistency and child focused decision making. The following will outline three tips that can help parents to achieve these goals.

Tip 1: Decide when a child can get a cellphone and who provides it

The first step is to treat the phone as a shared parenting issue, not a unilateral purchase. Parenting plans can address readiness factors such as age, maturity, school needs and safety considerations. They can also spell out financial responsibility for the device, service plan and replacements if lost or damaged. Before committing to a specific approach, consider the practical questions below.
  • Which parent will purchase the phone and maintain the account  
  • How will parents share costs, including upgrades, repairs and insurance  
  • What happens if the phone is lost, damaged or used in violation of rules
With these points in writing, both parents have a roadmap that reduces friction and helps the child understand expectations.

Tip 2: Use the phone to support parent-child communication, not monitor or interfere

A cellphone can be a healthy bridge between homes when used appropriately. Parenting plans often include communication windows, response expectations and boundaries that prevent disruptions during school, bedtime or scheduled parenting time. It is also wise to prohibit either parent from using the child’s phone as a tool for surveillance or to relay adult disputes. Clear language can confirm that the child may contact either parent while also protecting each parent’s time and the child’s routine.

Tip 3: Set app access rules, especially for social media and messaging

Parents may consider including language within the parenting plan outlining a need for joint consent before activating social media accounts, defining minimum ages, requiring privacy settings and establishing consequences for unsafe behavior. To help better ensure digital boundaries are workable, include specific guardrails such as the following.
  • Which apps the parents will allow, restrict or require both parents’ approval  
  • Screen time limits and phone free times like homework and overnight  
  • Parental controls, password sharing rules and expectations for online safety
These provisions can help both parents enforce consistent standards and give the child clearer guidance in a fast changing online environment. A cellphone can improve safety and connection, but only if it is integrated into the parenting plan with thoughtful detail. By addressing timing, communication and app access, parents can reduce conflict, promote healthy technology habits and keep the focus where it belongs: the child’s well being.]]> On Behalf of The Law Offices of Robert W. Dapelo, Esq., PC <![CDATA[5 divorce revenge moves that can backfire badly]]> https://www.robertdapelo.com/?p=49945 2026-05-12T15:50:10Z 2026-05-12T15:50:10Z Divorce can bring out the worst in otherwise reasonable people. One angry text, one dramatic threat or one impulsive stunt may feel justified in the moment. Later, that same choice can become evidence in court. In a heated Long Island divorce, the strongest response is not always the loudest one. If your spouse is acting recklessly, your reaction can either protect your credibility or give them fresh ammunition.

Revenge can become evidence

Judges do not expect divorcing spouses to like each other. They do expect both adults to follow court orders, protect the children and avoid escalating the conflict unnecessarily. Some revenge moves can create serious legal and practical problems. These include:
  • Emptying bank accounts: New York’s automatic court orders can restrict transfers, insurance changes and other financial decisions once a divorce case begins. Moving money out of anger may raise questions about honesty and intent.
  • Destroying or hiding property: Breaking electronics, taking furniture or making valuables “disappear” can make you look vindictive, even if you believe your spouse deserves it.
  • Using the kids as weapons: Blocking visits, coaching children against the other parent or forcing them to carry messages can damage custody arguments.
  • Posting the drama online: Screenshots, insults, dating posts and revenge stories can spread quickly. They can also appear in court filings.
  • Running up debt: Maxing out credit cards or spending marital money to punish your spouse may affect how the court views property and debt.
New York uses equitable distribution, which means the court looks for a fair property split rather than an automatic 50/50 division. Wasteful spending, hidden assets or bad-faith behavior may influence that larger analysis.

Take the messy behavior seriously

If your spouse is causing chaos, do not match their energy. Document what happened, preserve records and consider your next step before reacting emotionally. That may mean taking photos of damaged property, saving financial statements, keeping a parenting-time log or reviewing early divorce mistakes before making a decision you cannot undo. This does not mean acting weak or passive. It means staying believable. In a contested divorce, credibility matters. A clear record of what happened often carries more weight than a furious response in the moment.

Protect your case, not your pride

Revenge can feel powerful when divorce turns ugly. The problem is that court is not designed to reward whoever got the last word. It looks at facts, conduct, money, parenting decisions and whether each person followed the rules. If your spouse keeps provoking you, pause before you respond. The move that feels good tonight may become the same move you have to explain later.]]> On Behalf of The Law Offices of Robert W. Dapelo, Esq., PC <![CDATA[Risky decisions that can impact custody and support]]> https://www.robertdapelo.com/?p=49943 2026-04-16T12:43:56Z 2026-04-16T12:43:56Z When family tensions rise, choices made in the moment can carry long-term consequences. What feels like a quick reaction — sending a message, missing a payment or changing a routine — may later shape how a judge views your role as a parent.  In New York family law cases, patterns matter. Courts also often look beyond one incident to focus on consistency, judgment and stability over time. As a result, even small decisions can start to carry more weight as the case unfolds.

Small moves, big impact

Early on, everyday behavior can shape how the court views your role. Showing up late, arguing in front of your child or posting heated comments online can raise concerns about judgment and co-parenting. The same pattern shows up with parenting time. Missing scheduled visits may send the wrong message, even when work or personal issues get in the way. In contrast, attending school events and keeping steady communication can reinforce reliability. Over time, these details add up. Documenting positive involvement may strengthen your position while limiting conflict can help reduce tension between both parents.

Money matters

As custody issues progress, financial behavior often comes into focus as well. Courts may review how support gets handled alongside parenting decisions, especially when consistency becomes a concern in parenting time and custody arrangements. At that point, certain actions can quickly draw attention:
  • Skipping child support payments can signal instability and lead to enforcement action.
  • Making large cash transactions may raise questions about hidden income.
  • Quitting a job without a clear plan can affect how income gets assessed.
  • Paying expenses informally instead of through documented methods can create disputes.
  • Ignoring court orders can damage credibility and lead to penalties.
Taken together, these choices can raise questions about financial responsibility. Keeping payments clear and consistent may help reduce confusion and build a stronger record over time. Many people also find it easier to stay on track when someone familiar with New York family law can step in. They can review the details, flag issues early and help make sure small paperwork or reporting mistakes do not turn into bigger problems in court.

What the court sees

By the time the court reviews the full picture, individual moments often connect into a broader pattern. Judges tend to weigh consistency, communication and follow-through when looking at both custody and support.  New York courts decide custody and related issues based on the best interests of the child. That standard gives judges broad discretion to look at patterns of behavior, not just isolated moments, when evaluating each parent’s role.  With that in mind, steady decisions and clear documentation may help support your position, while reactive choices can leave an impression that becomes difficult to undo.]]> On Behalf of The Law Offices of Robert W. Dapelo, Esq., PC <![CDATA[3 reasons a hidden bank account can upend your divorce]]> https://www.robertdapelo.com/?p=49941 2026-03-04T15:33:41Z 2026-03-04T15:33:41Z Reason 1: It distorts the full picture of marital assets New York law requires both spouses to file a Statement of Net Worth, signed under penalty of perjury. This document must list all income and assets, wherever they are located, including any transfers made within the past three years. If your spouse hides an account, the court works from an incomplete financial picture. That gap can cost you real money in the final settlement.

Reason 2: It can change how the court views your spouse

Judges notice when a spouse is not being straight. If hidden assets surface during your New York divorce proceedings, it can seriously damage your spouse's credibility. Courts have little patience for financial deception, and that shift in perception can influence decisions on property and support.

Reason 3: Courts have real tools to find hidden money

You are not powerless. Your attorney can subpoena bank records, tax returns and financial statements through the discovery process. Forensic accountants can also trace unusual transfers or irregular patterns. Both spouses are legally obligated to exchange financial disclosures, and failure to do so carries serious consequences.

What this means for your case

New York follows equitable distribution, which means the court divides assets fairly, not necessarily equally. When a spouse conceals or wastes marital assets, the court can factor that misconduct into its final division. The result may be a larger share of the marital estate awarded to you as a discretionary equitable adjustment. If something feels off, start documenting what you find. Speaking with a legal professional and getting a clear legal read early puts you in a much stronger position.]]> On Behalf of The Law Offices of Robert W. Dapelo, Esq., PC <![CDATA[How do prenups hold up in New York high wealth cases?]]> https://www.robertdapelo.com/?p=49938 2026-02-16T14:40:57Z 2026-02-16T14:30:18Z When you have substantial assets, a divorce in New York can raise complex questions. Business interests, investment accounts and valuable real estate may all come into play. In many high wealth cases, a prenuptial agreement often shapes how those issues unfold. Still, courts do not enforce every agreement automatically. Judges usually look closely at how you and your spouse created and signed the document, as well as whether it meets state law requirements.

Establishing enforceability under New York law

New York courts generally treat prenuptial agreements as valid contracts. Under New York Domestic Relations Law, you and your spouse may decide in advance how to divide property and address spousal support. However, a court may review the circumstances surrounding the signing to confirm that the agreement satisfies legal standards. Judges often focus on several key factors:
  • Each spouse signed the agreement voluntarily and without clear pressure
  • Both spouses exchanged meaningful financial information
  • All required formalities were followed, including proper acknowledgment under state law
  • Timing of the agreement relative to the wedding date
A short gap between signing and the wedding can raise questions, but courts typically look for evidence of fraud, coercion or serious overreaching before setting an agreement aside. Timing alone usually does not carry enough weight to invalidate the contract.

Providing meaningful financial disclosure

In high wealth marriages, transparency can play a central role. You may hold interests in closely held companies, private equity, international accounts or complex investment portfolios. Those assets can make disclosure more involved. Even so, each of you generally should share enough information to allow the other to make an informed decision about the rights you may waive. If one spouse withholds major assets or debts, the other spouse might later argue that the agreement resulted in a manifestly unfair outcome. Accurate valuations and detailed documentation at the time of signing may help reduce that risk. Courts often examine what you both knew or reasonably should have known, when you entered into the agreement.

Addressing fairness in long term marriages

Over time, circumstances can change in ways no one fully anticipated. New York law may apply different standards depending on the provision at issue. For property division, courts usually measure unconscionability at the time you signed the agreement. If the terms appeared fair under the circumstances then, a later increase in wealth alone may not invalidate the contract. Spousal maintenance, however, can receive closer review at the time of divorce. A court may decline to enforce a maintenance provision if it finds the terms unconscionable when it enters the final judgment. Judges might consider:
  • Significant and unforeseen changes in earning capacity
  • A serious illness or disability
  • Other extreme hardships that you did not reasonably anticipate
As a result, maintenance provisions sometimes face more scrutiny than property clauses in long marriages.

Considering the impact of outdated terms

If you signed a prenuptial agreement decades ago, you might question whether it still reflects your financial reality. Markets change and asset values can grow substantially. Even so, New York courts often respect the original intent of the parties. The passage of time or a shift in wealth may not, on its own, undo a valid contract. Vague language or a failure to address future acquired assets could invite closer review. However, courts generally look at whether you both understood the risks and possibilities when you signed.

A framework that may shape negotiations

In many high wealth divorces in New York, a prenuptial agreement serves as the starting point for negotiations. Its strength often depends on full disclosure, clear drafting and balanced maintenance terms. While every situation differs, a carefully prepared agreement may offer a road map for property division years later. Understanding how New York courts evaluate these agreements can help you better anticipate how they might influence the outcome of a high asset divorce.]]> On Behalf of The Law Offices of Robert W. Dapelo, Esq., PC <![CDATA[4 divorce mistakes you’ll regret making]]> https://www.robertdapelo.com/?p=49936 2026-01-30T14:42:43Z 2026-01-30T14:42:43Z Divorce can feel overwhelming, and emotions run high during the process. But decisions made under stress can affect your finances, your children and your peace of mind for years. Knowing common mistakes ahead of time can help you protect your future and manage the process more confidently. Here are four pitfalls you should avoid during your divorce. 

1. Making decisions out of emotion

Divorce brings strong feelings: anger, grief or even fear. Making important choices while upset can lead to agreements that are unfair or hard to change. For example, giving up assets just to stop an argument can hurt your financial security later. Taking a pause, keeping detailed records and consulting a lawyer or mediator helps you make smart decisions that protect your long-term interests.

2. Overlooking the financial aspect of things

Dividing property, retirement accounts and debts can have lasting effects. Ignoring tax consequences or the cost of alimony may create financial strain on you and affect the way you can care for your children. Working with a financial professional helps you make choices that protect your future.

3. Ignoring the impact on children

Even small conflicts between parents affect children. Custody, visitation and daily routines shape their sense of safety. Prioritizing consistency, communication and co-parenting strategies helps children adjust. A child-focused mediator or counselor can offer guidance and support.

4. Failing to seek legal guidance

Divorce laws differ by state, and even the simplest mistakes can be costly. Handling negotiations alone or relying only on online forms may lead to errors. An experienced attorney can explain your rights, anticipate problems and help you negotiate agreements that safeguard your interests now and in the future.

Take proactive steps for your family 

Awareness of these mistakes lets you plan ahead and perhaps avoid them altogether. Clear decisions guided by professional help reduce stress and improve divorce outcomes. Working with a trusted attorney ensures your choices are informed, helping you protect your assets, support your children and move forward into the next chapter.  ]]> On Behalf of The Law Offices of Robert W. Dapelo, Esq., PC <![CDATA[Does New York enforce prenuptial agreements?]]> https://www.robertdapelo.com/?p=49932 2026-01-08T17:39:40Z 2026-01-08T17:38:25Z The short answer: yes, but with certain conditions New York recognizes prenups as valid contracts between two people who plan to marry. Courts in the state tend to uphold these agreements when they follow the proper legal guidelines. However, not every prenup is automatically enforceable. The agreement must meet certain standards under state law, which governs how marital agreements work. This means signing a document before your wedding alone is not enough. How the parties draft and formally acknowledge the agreement is as equally as important as what the document says.

What makes a prenup valid in New York

For a prenup to be enforceable, it generally requires:
  • The agreement must be in writing.
  • Both parties must sign the document.
  • Signatures must be acknowledged before a notary public.
  • Both parties enter into the agreement voluntarily.
  • Each party provides full and fair financial disclosure.
The timing of when you sign matters, too. While the courts do not automatically reject prenups signed close to the wedding, signing at least 30 to 60 days in advance can be ideal.

When courts do not honor your agreement

Courts typically invalidate prenups when:
  • Fraud: Your partner fails to disclose major property, investments or debts, suggesting the agreement was based on deceit.
  • Unconscionability: The agreement is so extremely one-sided that it would leave one spouse destitute.
  • Duress: One party emotionally manipulates or threatens the other into signing.
  • Prohibited Terms: One of the terms includes waiving child support obligations, which New York courts prohibit.
A particularly important development involves spousal maintenance. New York courts may require specific language and calculations showing that both parties understood exactly what they were giving up. A generic waiver without these details faces a higher risk of being challenged.

What this means for your future

A well-drafted prenup can provide peace of mind and reduce conflict if a marriage ends. It allows you and your spouse to decide how to address your assets and debts, rather than leaving those decisions to a court applying New York’s equitable distribution rules.]]> On Behalf of The Law Offices of Robert W. Dapelo, Esq., PC <![CDATA[How to create an effective co-parenting plan for your children]]> https://www.robertdapelo.com/?p=49927 2025-12-12T14:23:39Z 2025-12-12T14:11:54Z How does a parenting plan work? When parents have joint physical and legal custody, their parenting plan outlines each of their schedules with their children, including their respective number of overnights with them and how they plan to share decision-making authority over their children’s upbringing. On the other hand, a parent with sole physical custody has more control over the details of their parenting plan. However, their plan will still need to highlight their ex-spouse’s visitation schedule and other conditions (if any).

What information should be in the parenting plan?

Since you and your spouse share custody of your children, your co-parenting plan can become more personalized. Here are nine key details that should be included in your document:
  • Weekday and weekend schedule
  • Drop-off and pickup routines
  • School events and extracurricular activities
  • Vacations, school breaks and holidays
  • Health check-ups
  • Each parent’s and the children’s birthdays
  • Decision making agreements
  • Communication rules
  • Dispute resolution
You can also add your own conditions for other important matters like relocation, out-of-state travel and international trips. By working together to create an effective parenting plan for your children, you help provide them with emotional security and a stable living environment.]]> On Behalf of The Law Offices of Robert W. Dapelo, Esq., PC <![CDATA[3 FAQs about child support in New York]]> https://www.robertdapelo.com/?p=49922 2025-11-30T12:59:31Z 2025-11-30T12:49:35Z How do I make payments? You may send your child support payments online, by mail or in person. Here are their individual instructions:
  • Online: There are three accepted online payment portals that you can utilize for your child support payments in New York. They are ExpertPay, MoneyGram and ChildSupportBillPay New York.
  • Mail: You may send a check or money order and make it payable to NYS Child Support Processing Center. Please make sure to provide your full name, your child support account number/s, the county names and the amount.
  • In person: You may visit any available MoneyGram branches to pay your child support in cash. Keep in mind that each cash transaction will carry a $3.99 fee.
Depending on the type of payment option you use and whether you made it during a weekday, the payment process may take anywhere between two to five business days.

What happens if I do not pay the full amount?

This payment practice is highly discouraged. If you do not pay your child support amount in full, you will have past-due balances called “arrears.” To offset this, you will have to shoulder an additional 50% of your original child support amount. If your arrears exceed $2,500, you risk having your passport revoked and your bank accounts placed on liens.

Can I request a modification of my child support costs?

Yes, you and your ex have equal rights to file a petition for a modification of your child support order. To pursue this change, your existing order must be at least three years old, or you are experiencing a "substantial change in circumstances" in your life. Two common examples of this change are a 15% increase or decrease in your gross income and an evolving expense related to your children’s educational and medical needs.

You are in control of what’s ahead

By learning about the basic child support FAQs in New York, you can navigate the system with better familiarity and avoid any potential hurdles along the way.]]> On Behalf of The Law Offices of Robert W. Dapelo, Esq., PC <![CDATA[3 custody myths parents still believe]]> https://www.robertdapelo.com/?p=49920 2025-11-19T06:26:35Z 2025-11-19T06:26:35Z Child custody is one of the most emotional and overwhelming issues families face during divorce. Decisions feel high-stakes because they involve children’s daily routines, stability and sense of security. It is common for parents to walk into the process carrying assumptions based on what they have heard from friends, family or television. Understanding what the process really looks like can help parents feel more informed and less fearful. Below are three common myths that continue to confuse families during custody discussions.

Myth 1: Mothers always get custody

Many parents still believe courts automatically favor mothers, but that is not how decisions are made today. Judges focus on the child’s best interests rather than gender. Courts look at each parent’s involvement, caregiving history, communication style and overall ability to meet the child’s needs. 

Myth 2: Children can choose where they want to live

Parents sometimes think that once a child reaches a certain age, the child can simply decide where to live. While a child’s preference can be considered, it is never the only factor. Judges weigh that preference along with other factors that impact overall stability. Even older children do not receive full decision-making power. Courts focus on what supports the child’s development, not what feels easiest in the moment.

Myth 3: Shared custody means an exact 50/50 schedule

A custody order labeled “joint” or “shared” does not always mean both parents get equal time. Some parents share legal custody, meaning they both participate in major decisions, while physical custody may still lean more heavily toward one home. Schedules can be 60/40, 70/30 or customized in many other ways. Courts aim for arrangements that support consistent routines, workable logistics and strong relationships. These myths can create unnecessary stress before the legal process even begins. When parents understand how custody decisions are actually made, they gain more clarity and emotional grounding to focus on their children.

A more supportive path forward

No parent should feel they must manage the custody process alone, especially during an already difficult chapter of life. Compassionate legal guidance can help families understand their rights, explore realistic options and move toward solutions that support their children’s well-being. A qualified family attorney can offer clarity, advocacy and steady support tailored to the family’s needs.  ]]>