While this type of custody may be unique because it involves sharing your marital home with your spouse after you finalize your divorce, it is a trend that many people, including several notable celebrities, have been implementing in their families. Besides not having to sell a house or make the kids move, there are several significant benefits to a bird nest custody arrangement.
It’s impossible to divorce without having it disrupt your children’s lives. However, it doesn’t have to ruin them, especially during the holidays. Most family court judges agree that children are resilient and adaptable and can often cope with a divorce in a healthy manner if their parents work together to maintain a sense of normalcy, routine and structure in their daily lives.
This is, perhaps, one of the greatest benefits of bird nesting as a child custody plan. Much of your children’s lives can stay the same after your divorce. They don’t have to cart their belongings back and forth between two households or go to a new school or move to a new neighborhood.
Bird nesting works like this: Your children live in the family home full-time, and you and your ex take turns living there with them. You can create whatever schedule you prefer for custody transfers. You can also lay some ground rules, such as having private quarters that are off limits to each other. You might also want to write out terms of agreement regarding new romantic partners or guests that either of you might want to invite to the family home.
Bird nesting doesn’t mean you have to be in constant contact with your ex. It’s quite the opposite, really. Because you will both be coming and going in and out of the same house, you can use a whiteboard, or something similar, to leave notes or messages. You can also use text messaging or email to correspond.
If you want to try sharing holidays so that your kids can celebrate with both parents at the same time, it’s your choice. If you’d rather not see or interact with your ex, then you don’t have to. In fact, there are ways to transfer custody without having to interact in person, as well. If a bird nesting agreement doesn’t work out, you can always convert to another child custody option later.
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