How to bring up wanting a divorce

Raising the possibility of getting a divorce is one of the hardest conversations a person can have. The task requires a deft combination of sensitivity, forethought and determination.

Certain decisions help a leaving spouse approach this subject as respectfully and cleanly as possible.

Preparing mentally and emotionally

Before initiating such a heavy exchange, it is beneficial to prepare mentally and emotionally. One should first reflect on the reasons for wanting a divorce and anticipate the possible outcomes. This can assist in staying calm during the big moment.

Picking the right time and place

Timing and setting are important variables. A private, quiet room where both individuals can talk without interruption is ideal. Avoid moments when stress levels are running high, such as during a family crisis or immediately after a major argument. Ensuring both partners are clearheaded may lead to a more productive dialogue.

Being direct and clear

Beating around the bush creates unnecessary anxiety and confusion. Anyone wanting a divorce should plainly state a desire to talk about the state of the marriage and the reasons for wanting to end it. An unambiguous approach leaves minimal room for confusion.

Speaking from personal experience

Using “I” statements focuses the discourse on feelings and experiences rather than placing blame. For example, saying “I am unhappy because of our constant arguments,” instead of “You make me unhappy,” can prevent the other person from becoming defensive.

Expecting different reactions

Responses to the news may vary. The person might become shocked, angry or even relieved. Being ready for a range of emotions is optimal.

Broaching the topic of divorce is highly difficult. However, a wise strategy ensures that both parties understand each other’s perspectives, setting the stage for a healthy break.