The details of your marital problems are nobody’s business but your own. If you and your spouse want to discuss your relationship with someone, that’s your choice. In New York, if you have determined that there are irresolvable problems in your marriage, you can file for a “no-fault” divorce. You don’t have to accuse your spouse of wrongdoing or share your exact reasons for wanting to move on in life without him or her.
You might think that your reasons for wanting to divorce your spouse sound irrational or crazy to another person. You might be surprised to learn that there have been many cases where spouses have cited highly unusual reasons for wanting to end a marriage. What’s most important is not why you want a divorce but how you go about negotiating a settlement.
One man filed for divorce because he believed his wife was possessed
There was a man in Europe who filed for divorce because, he said, his wife showed signs of demonic possession. He told the court about numerous behaviors his wife would exhibit, stating that her body would stiffen and she would levitate. The judge overseeing the case granted the divorce but did not “fault” the wife.
A woman said her husband’s cooking made her fat
Perhaps your spouse is known in your household to be a great cook. You might be surprised to learn that some spouses don’t consider this a positive attribute. In fact, a woman filed for divorce, stating that she blamed her husband for causing her to gain weight because he pampered her with his good cooking. She also said that her spouse continually told her how much he loved her and she was tired of him being “too nice.”
After 70 years of marriage, a man called it quits
If you file for divorce, there may be issues that will prompt the judge to ask how long you and your spouse were married. Nowadays, more and more older people who have been married 30 years or more are filing for divorce. In one particular case, a couple had been together for more than 70 years.
However, at age 99, the husband discovered old romantic letters his wife had written to a lover when they were young. He said he was not willing to forgive her affair, and he filed for a divorce.
Reasons are a secondary issue
Since New York allows a no-fault divorce, you do not have to share anything more about your marital problems other than you had some and were unable to resolve them. It’s important to understand the family court system, though, in order to protect your assets and make sure that you receive a fair settlement.
Especially if you have children and have been married many years, you might have property division, custody, alimony, retirement benefits or other issues to resolve. Learning as much as you can ahead of time about what to expect in court may help keep stress to a minimum and ensure that you have all that you need to make ends meet as you adapt to a new lifestyle.