Did you fight about money before your divorce?

When you got married in a New York courthouse, church or wherever your ceremony was, you no doubt expected that you would be with your spouse for the rest of your life. There would have been no way to know what types of issues or problems might arise down the road that would place a great strain on your relationship — perhaps even leading to divorce.

Various issues that may have led to your decision to file for divorce may wind up causing obstacles as you work toward a fair settlement. While no two marriages are exactly the same, it can be helpful to talk to a trusted friend, family member or advocate who has navigated similar circumstances in the past.

Divorce often involves money problems

A common reason people often cite as a causal factor in divorce is financial disputes. Perhaps you and your spouse share a bank account and you were constantly fighting over withdrawals made without your knowledge. Maybe you own a business together but never saw eye-to-eye on money issues.

If you have children, you and your spouse might have gotten into a lot of arguments about their financial needs. If fighting over money was a determining factor in your decision to divorce, you’ll want to make sure the same issue doesn’t keep you from obtaining a fair settlement.

Infidelity is problematic in many relationships

When a spouse has an affair, it causes lack of trust in other aspects of a marriage as well. In fact, this issue is not only a common cause of divorce, it often intersects with financial issues in court. As mentioned earlier, if money is missing from your bank account, you have every right to be concerned. If you suspect that your spouse is hiding money by giving it to the person with whom he or she is having an affair, you might have a hidden asset problem on your hands.

Other issues that may be applicable in your case

Perhaps you and your spouse are of different faith backgrounds and didn’t think it would cause a problem in your marriage, but it did. If such issues concern your children, remember that legal custody in a divorce refers to the authority of a parent to make decisions on behalf of his or her children. Such decisions often include matters of faith, education, health and other life issues.

If you have cited “irreconcilable differences” as your reason to file for divorce, you may or may not be able to peacefully negotiate a settlement. If your relationship is contentious, litigation might be the most viable option for making sure you get all that you’re entitled to and that your children’s best interests remain in mind regarding all custody and child support-related decisions.