Beyond the basics: non-custodial issues that parents can make agreements about

When parents of one or more children get a divorce, their main focus is naturally on resolving key issues about custody, visitation, and child support. However, there are many other elements about parenting that people can incorporate into formal agreements.

Parents may establish written agreements relating to several different aspects of how they raise their children or navigate through the process of a divorce. Here are some examples of issues that parents may want to reach an understanding on at the time that they are getting divorced.


In general, parents want to be on the same page about their responsibilities involving their children’s education. They can outline obligations about monitoring performance in school, meeting with teachers, and even homework help. Also, it may be helpful to establish who will pay for college.

Talking about ex-spouses

Parental alienation can be a serious problem and cause significant damage to relationships. Parents may agree to refrain from discussing one another with their children in a negative light.

Meeting new romantic interests

People are sometimes understandably concerned about their ex-spouse introducing someone new into their children’s life. While they cannot reasonably attempt to control one another’s love life, they may want to agree on some boundaries. Parents may wish to mutually agree on waiting a certain period of time before introducing a new boyfriend or girlfriend to their children.

Ultimately, thorough agreements about parental rights and responsibilities can help to minimize the negative impact that a divorce may have on children. Shared expectations foster good communication and enable people to co-parent effectively.