You begin growing suspicious when your spouse starts staying late at the office. Then they start sending text messages that they don't let you see. It feels like they're either gone or on their phone all the time.
That's when they leave their Facebook open on your laptop. It doesn't take you long to find all the evidence that you need. They're cheating on you, and they have been for months. This marriage is over.
Why did this happen?
As you start looking into your options, you begin wondering why they did it. Sure, the marriage wasn't perfect, but you didn't start dating someone else on the side. Why did they? Here are a few common reasons people cheat:
- They're just not that mature. They wanted to "have fun." They loved the excitement of a new relationship. They didn't take the time to think about the impact that would have on their life. This is often an issue if people get married too young, when they really needed a few more years of Tinder dates before settling down.
- They wanted to get back at you for something. They saw this as revenge. That may mean that they think you cheated first, but it may not. They may feel resentful about how much you work or something you said in passing that they found insulting. They cheated because they wanted revenge and they wanted you to find out.
- The intimacy ended. That does not just mean physical intimacy. You felt close and connected when you got married. Over the years, that ended, and now you feel more like roommates. While your spouse may give up on you as a source of intimacy, that doesn't mean he or she doesn't crave it. They may think that a new relationship is the only way to get it.
- They're already done with the marriage and on the way out. They may not have asked you for a divorce -- maybe it felt too complicated -- but they do not want to stay married. As such, they did not think that cheating on you was a big deal.
- You're not the same people you were when you got married. Over the years, you drifted apart. If you went out on your first date now, it wouldn't even lead to a second date, let alone a marriage. Your spouse knows it, and they're looking for someone who seems like a better fit for who they are now.
Regardless of the reason your spouse cheated, it's time to look into all of your legal options. You must protect yourself if divorce strikes.